Conflict resolution discussion

Conflict resolution discussion

Number of replies: 10

Consider this scenario: After a meeting lasting most of the morning, you return to the discussion forum. In the rough and tumble of a lively debate, one participant has posted a message that offends many of your deeply held religious beliefs. You also think that the message is likely to cause deep offence to many other participants. Using NVC methodology as described in the article above write a post in this forum addressed to the offending participant

Write the actual post using NCV as we want to see how you phrase it.

  1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement).
  2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).
  3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings).
  4. State your request.
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Dr Peninah Tanui Melly -
1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgment).
‘When I returned from a prolonged meeting in the morning, you were posting messages in as part of your contributions in a rough, tumble but lively debate in the discussion forum’
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).
‘I feel offended’
3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings).
‘I feel offended because I would like that religious beliefs are respected. However, I am feeling that the post made has not only deeply offended my religious beliefs but also those of other participants.’
4. State your request.
‘Are you willing to make the discussion forum’s debate lively, smooth without back and forth? Moreover, are you willing to share your thoughts that do not offend anyone’s religious beliefs?'
In reply to Dr Peninah Tanui Melly

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Dr. Morris M. Mwatu -
1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement). "I have noted that you have posting offensive messages touching on my religious believes while I was away in a given meeting"
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts). "I feel uncomfortable with this"
3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings). "I feel that religious matters are not part of the objectives and mandate of this forum"
4. State your request. "I request that this discussion stops and the posts deleted and whoever posted apologize"
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Albert Wanjala Mwongula -
1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement).
'When I returned from a meeting that lasted the better part of the morning, you were
busy posting religious beliefs messages to the discussion forum.’
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).
'We feel offended.'
3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very
specific needs behind feelings).
‘We feel offended because religious beliefs that upholds our faith as Christians and
need to be respected.’
4. State your request.
‘Are you willing to engage in lively debate to the discussion forum without criticisms
on the religious beliefs?’
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Barbara Khavugwi Makhaya -
Dear Team,
Thank you for your contributions in this discussion on Non-violent communication. We noted that:

1. The theory of non-violent communication provides us with a number of techniques to help you stay in control of difficult situations.
2. Our emotions do tend to take over and cause us to get upset, we are required to express our emotions correctly to avoid conflict situations
3. We need to endeavour to be open, assertive, respectful and not judgemental in our communication. (The Giraffe)
4. We should avoid accusing, judging, manipulating and reproaching other in our communication (The Jackal)

The technique you can use to release the inner giraffe in you in persuasive communication:
1. Observation: stick to the facts, do not judge,
e.g. I can see that...., what I noticed that...., what I hear is that you...
2. Emotion: Put down what you feel about what has been observed (There are four main emotions; joy, fear, anger and sadness)
e.g. I am highly disappointed by..., I am concerned about...., I am excited about....., I do not approve of...
3. Need: Express what you find important, what you need, what values you find important, and what you would appreciate to see respected.
e.g. I have always found it important to...., I would like to...., what counts for me is that...
4. Request: Point out unambiguously what you expect from the other person, include suggestions to the person
e.g. That is why I want to ask you to......, I insist on you doing the following...., I want you to immedietly...

Regards,
Barbara
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Bostley Asenahabi -
  1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement).
After joining the forum, I noticed with concern that one of us has deviated from the core function of the forum.
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).
I do not approve of this as it switches the focus of the group to other unwarranted discussions.
3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings).
What I feel to be essential is to keep track of the main objectives of the forum and course at large.
4. State your request.
Having said that, I insist of us to keep track of the discussion and avoid disrupting the other members. The offensive posts have to be retracted.
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Margaret Ngugi -
1. Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement).- Today i noticed that you made a comment that i found unsettling based on the fact that you discussed religion in a negative manner, which as you know is a sensitive topic
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).-i felt bad about that post as it does not resonate with my faith which you shed in negative light
3.Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings).- your description of my religion is totally wrong as you depicted it so negatively and honestly i did not like that.
State your request-i would appreciate if you would pull down the post and if you do not mind, i would be more than willing to educate you on my religion so that you spread love and not hatred. thank you
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Charles Omoga -
Dear .............(offending participants name),

I observed that you posted a message in the discussion forum that offended many of my deeply held religious beliefs. I also think that the message is likely to cause deep offense to many other participants.

When I read your message, I felt hurt and angry. I value respect for all people's beliefs, and I felt that your message was disrespectful. I also felt concerned about the impact that your message might have on other participants.

I need all participants in this discussion forum to feel safe and respected. I need to be able to express my beliefs without fear of being ridiculed or belittled. I also need to be able to interact with other participants without having to worry about them being offended by my beliefs.

I request that you remove your offensive message and apologize to the participants who you may have offended. I also request that you be more mindful of your words in the future.

Thank you for your consideration
Dr.Omoga
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Kelvin Juma -
1. Describe your observation: I have observed that your writing has not considered the doctrines of other religions and may be viewed as judgmental by the many other participants that do not share the same line of though as yourself
2. Identify the feeling: I feel offended by your post and view it as disrespeful to other religions
3. Reason for the feeling: This is because your post was not objective but rather subjective, and did not consider at minimum the effect such statements could have on the other participants
4. State your request: I request that you edit or review your post at the earliest time possible to ensure that it is not judgmental, castigative or does not impact negatively on other people's religious beliefs
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Gladys Ogaro -
Describe your observation (instead of making a judgement). I have noted with a lot of concern that you have posted rather an unfriendly post on the discussion forum that may not go down well with most of the participants
Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts). It is a rather disappointing act which evokes resentment
Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings). Your post is discouraging to most of your colleagues. I equally feel a bit offended
State your request. Therefore, I kindly request that you pull don the post immediately to prevent further negative impact
In reply to First post

Re: Conflict resolution discussion

by Arnety Makokha -
1. Describe my observations (instead of making a judgement) " After a meeting lasting most of the morning, you return to the discussion forum and noticed in the rough and tumble of a lively debate, one participant has posted a message....
2. Identify your feeling (which is different from sharing your thoughts).. feel offended
3. Explain the reason for your feeling in terms of your needs (there are always very specific needs behind feelings) What counts for me is that the religious beliefs have to be respected
4. State your request: Kindly share the religious thoughts that do not cause deep offence to participants